You can't separate them.
I once dealt with a middle school student in a disciplinary situation, and remember vividly the student pleading with me, "I know I've lied a lot before, but this time, I swear, I'm telling the truth!"
Maybe he was.
I didn't know for sure, because the facts of that specific case were not certain. But what was certain was the accuracy of the student's assessment of his own credibility: He didn't have any. He truly did lie all the time. Intentionally, despite numerous instances in which his lies had been exposed.
That's just who this kid was at that stage of his life. You couldn't rely on a thing he ever said, because you knew he lied all the time.
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The Los Angeles Lakers were fortunate to win the 1988 NBA Finals against the Detroit Pistons, and the play that saved their chances to eke out the victory came late in Game 6, when the notorious Bill Laimbeer was called for a shooting foul on Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, who hit both free throws to win the game and force Game 7.
Replays show the call to be dubious at best, and that Laimbeer was very likely called for a foul he did not commit in that particular case.
A commentator recently stated about that play, "Laimbeer didn't shove Jabbar on that play, but he was called for the 2,000 other previous times when he did shove somebody."
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As you follow the controversy surrounding President Trump's phone call to Sgt. Johnson's widow, consider how we reap what we sow.
At first glance, you might take this story as evidence for your opinion of President Trump, whether you consider him unfit for office, or an unfairly demonized patriot.
Whichever of these best fits your view of President Trump, neither is the heart of the matter in this case.
The heart of the matter is not which presidents have been better at comforting families of fallen service members. It is not a matter of phone calls vs. letters vs. in-person visits. Despite General Kelly's lecture, it is not a matter of whether those who have never served in the Armed Forces can understand what it feels like to lose a soldier in combat. It is not a matter of whether a congresswoman is accurate in her rendering of a conversation, or whether she should have been listening in. It is not a matter of whether a specific quote, in this specific case, is being taken out of its full context and portrayed differently than it was intended.
The heart of the story of the ill-fated phone call to Mrs. Johnson is simply this:
President Trump routinely and needlessly insults, offends, and alienates people, often intentionally, and we should never be surprised by this, though it seems to happen in new ways all the time. This happens because this behavior has been his chosen currency for all the years the world has known him. President Trump has, for his entire adult life, dealt with people in precisely this way, and has gained notoriety for doing so.
It is quite often people of color and those who are marginalized who are the most hurt by President Trump's comments and tweets, and though this pattern is needless and entirely avoidable, and though it is maddening beyond belief, there is nothing new about this.
It isn't about the details of every single specific incident.
It's about the kind of person an individual is known to be.
And the fact that President Trump has not sought to make amends for this offense, even if it was unintentional, the fact that a vulnerable person being hurt was not enough to inspire a conciliatory move, tells us all we need to know.
Please don't spend your precious credibility trying to gaslight us with any notion that President Trump is anything other than routinely and deliberately hurtful to others, or that we are crazy for thinking he is.
Please don't waste your finite voice trying to contort yourself around this story to cast President Trump as any kind of victim.
Please don't burn your limited words scrambling to pick up the pieces from this incident, or make the case that there was nothing to be offended about in this specific case.
The story of this phone call and the offense it caused was made possible only by the longstanding pattern of behavior of President Trump himself.
No one can hurt people indefinitely without consequence.
No one is so special as to be able to make their way in the world by making light of people, without reaching a point where people expect the worst of them, and see the worst in them, even in some specific cases when their intentions might have been good, or at least neutral.
It is the chronic abuser who expects those around him to validate his bad behavior, cast him as a victim, and make excuses for the hurts he causes, without any change on his part.
It is the chronic abuser who is arrogant enough to plant seeds and water them, and then become indignant when those seeds take root and bear fruit beyond the abuser's control.
President Trump could set about trying to change his reputation, and people's reactions to him, if he wanted to.
He made this bed. Let him lie in it.
And if you believe the Spirit is moving you to climb into this bed with him, at least don't pretend that anyone else made it for him.
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Oh, Heavenly Father, we repent of our mockery of You, in our failure to respect Your reminder that we will reap what we sow, that there is no such thing as planting one seed, and expecting something different to grow.
Father, we are being torn apart, and we need You.
Please comfort the family of Sgt. Johnson, and the families of the other soldiers killed in Niger.
Please comfort the families of all who have fallen in our wars, and in all wars.
Please comfort and heal all who have been hurt by President Trump's words, even in those cases when his intentions were not to hurt, and please, since he claims to be a believer, let Your Spirit move in his heart to create change.
We need You, Father.
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