I was thrown a curve today.
Someone said some things to me that really hurt and upset me. It was deliberate, personal, and spiteful. It was also untrue and undeserved. It was a strange experience for me. I usually get along with everyone, and I had honestly tried to accommodate this person for some time. It was no one in my family, and not a friend; just someone I used to have to interact with off and on. Our dealings were done, and the person took the opportunity for a parting stab in the gut. I resented the audacity, and began mentally refuting every false claim and vindicating myself. But, there was no purpose in that.
Not every day are we called to put into practice, in such a real way, the things we claim to believe.
Matthew 5:44-45: "Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven."
Matthew 6:14-15: "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your heavenly Father forgive your trespasses."
Proverbs 19:11: "The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression."
I couldn't help but wonder: If God calls me to forgive others as He forgives me, does the feeling I felt today come close to what He must feel when I sin? Does He see the same audacity, falsehood, and undeserved insult that I saw today?
I resolve to overlook this transgression, and to forgive the individual who hurt me today. I want to.
But, I'm not there yet. I still want to detail how I was right and this person was wrong. I want others to see and know how wrong this person was. But, those are exactly the things I'm called to let go of. I must let go of the idea that this person owes me something. No apology is ever coming. No confrontation will do any good. Only the Holy Spirit working in my heart can give me what I need to let it all go, knowing I am just as guilty of doing the same thing to God.