Proud of You, Son II

May 19, 2024 

 

Jonathan,

 

What to say, man?

 

How many parents look at their 17 year-old and say, "This kid is so ready"? 

Not many.

I continue to be amazed at the steps you have taken and continue to take in life. I still remember that dinner when Ben said to you, "Dude, you're goin' places! I think you could make Drum Major!" There was something about him saying those words, a ripple in the space-time continuum, a movement in The Force, a whisper from the Holy Spirit...I don't think I will ever forget that moment. It was such a bold thing to say, almost too bold, too brazen, a little unsettling, just thrown out there with a confidence beyond what the rest of us at the table felt at the time, yet so clear and accurate as to be prophetic.

 

Now?

 

LOL.

 

Now, it just seems plain obvious. Of course you made Drum Major. Of course you were a leading part of the quickest course correction in the history of the Screaming Eagle Band. Of course you auditioned for Phantom Regiment. Of course the Phantom staff was amazed by this 16 year-old kid from Texas and decided they needed to get him into the fold before another corps could get him. Of course you received the John Phillip Sousa award as a Junior, a feat I don't recall seeing before at Ellison. Of course you played a rousing jazz solo that brought the house down and mesmerized a sleeveless, intimidating, but appreciative jazz fan at the Spring Show.

 

It all seems obvious now, but no. It wasn't obvious, and it didn't just happen.

 

It had to be spoken first. 

 

It had to be seen in the imagination before it could become a reality, and it only became a reality through an awful lot of hard, unglamorous work. Your work. Your imagination. Your devotion to your craft. Your relationships with mentors and fellow musicians. Your self-discipline and your talent.

 

As you now embark on this summer tour, I hope you will remember Ben's words and his faith in you, remember your fellow Drum Majors here at Ellison who are so intensely proud of you they can't contain it, remember your fellow Band members here who love and respect you so much, and are probably telling people about how their Head Drum Major is touring with Phantom Regiment. 

 

Remember your Band Directors from Liberty Hill who planted those early seeds and watered the soil. Remember Mr. Smith and Mr. Young, who made an imprint on your life in the closing moments of their careers, even if that imprint was sometimes comical, sometimes distracted by the computer screen and not really listening to you, sometimes more an example of playing it safe and running out the clock, but also an example of a lasting legacy and generations of excellent teaching. Remember Mr. Younger, who has shown such courage in literally stepping into his father's footsteps, and Mr. Ballard, who has shown such grace in finding his niche and giving everyone time to come to appreciate him.

 

Remember Mr. Reynolds, who made you a Drum Major, opened the door to DCI and, most of all, set an example of how to replace a legend, how to survive the trials of a new beginning, how to endure the rejections of the old guard who won't let go of the predecessor, how to face heartbreak, how to envision a recovery and assemble the team that can bring it about, how to be joyful even when things are hard, how to be funny without ever being mean, how to own success and failure, how to share credit but take blame, how to keep it real without ever being bitter, how to let your work speak for itself so you don't have to brag, how to be a person of faith whose circle is inclusive to all.

 

Remember your people back at St. Joseph's, who will miss you more than you can imagine, and will be asking for updates every time they see us. Don't view the tour as something that pulls you away from God or your family of faith, but rather as an opportunity to be God's fully inclusive, loving presence, in your own way, in the way the Spirit forms it in you. I believe this tour will show you something about God and faith that you couldn't learn at home. Yes, we are keeping our fingers crossed that you might be able to visit a few Episcopal churches along the way, but know that this is not a matter of trying to control you, but rather, a knowledge on our part that churches you visit in other places become treasures in your memory, often landmarks of unanticipated blessing, and we want that for you.

 

Remember your brother, even as both of you are drawn into the gravitational pulls of your adult lives, which bring different journeys and different destinations, even as your life becomes joyfully filled with friends and mentors whose paths and personalities are more similar to yours than Ben's is. Sibling relationships come in wide varieties, and you and Ben have one that is unique. Don't let the path between you and him become overgrown and hard to travel. Don't be like me and my brothers. Keep a connection, even if it takes a deliberate effort, and even if it doesn't seem like it matters right now. It will matter someday, and the connection will only be strong if you make it strong.

 

Most all of, while you're on tour, remember your sweet Mom.

 

She has been the mainstay your entire life, and has facilitated all the amazing things you have done, from gymnastics to dance to tee ball to Upward basketball to Mary Poppins to Camp Broadway, and on and on. More than that, she is a daily comfort, a safe place where everything is always going to be OK, the provider of the magic of home wherever you happen to be. She is so proud of you and so excited about all this, but also has very mixed feelings about her baby being gone, even if just for the summer. Don't be too busy for her, even as you move closer to your adult life. This summer will be your Mom's first taste of not having you in the house, and she will be adjusting to your absence every minute.

As for me, rest assured I'll be holding it down in your absence, and walking around with a Jonathan-shaped hole in the middle of my heart, treasuring every text and Facetime, glancing into your bedroom for no reason, hearing your voice at the dinner table telling me a story, counting down the days till I see you again when Mom and I come up to join the tour in late June.

 

But most of all, just know that I am busting with pride in you and in what you are doing, and filled with confidence about your readiness for this challenge in your life. I'm so pumped about the tour, so excited about the new friends you will make, so hopeful about the new mentor relationships you will build with professionals in your field who will help you begin your own career someday, and so eager to see the young man you will be on the other side of this experience, heading into your senior year at EHS.

 

There will be times this summer when you really miss home, when you really miss us, when you miss your friends back here, when you wonder what on earth you are doing so far away. There will be times when you are enjoying yourself so much that it all feels perfect, and there will be times when you are so busy and working so hard you don't have time to feel anything. All of this is normal, and will be right for the moment you are in. Let the feelings flow when they flow.

 

Prepare yourself for the hits and the misses. There will be moments when you nail it, and moments when you don't. There will be moments of success, and moments of defeat, moments when this feels no different than conducting the band here at Ellison, and moments when this feels so much harder than anything you have done before.

 

And in this high-stakes environment, the moments of struggle will be more biting and painful than what you are used to in your high school band life. The directors will be harsher, the criticism more severe, than what you have received at EHS. It hurts to know that our child may be out there hurting because of the words of a frustrated authority figure, and we won't be there to comfort him. We may never even know it happened. Just know we are there in spirit, and always just a text away, ready to listen, and you have what it takes to overcome and succeed. If you didn't, we would not have sent you. 

 

Celebrate the wins, take the hits, shed the tears, face yourself in the mirror, hug your conductors, and then set your mind to grow and improve, and let the directors see you as a person who is growing into a future conductor in your own right. And know that we are holding you close in our hearts every minute of what will be a life-changing summer.

 

At the end of it all, I am just so stinking proud of you.

 

I love you, son, more than I can even say. 

Thank you for being who you are, and remember we are always here.