Poco a Poco

One of my favorite Spanish phrases is "poco a poco", meaning "little by little".

In our family, we are seeing this phrase played out in real life. Benjamin is taking swimming lessons, and Jonathan has been walking for about a month.

With both of these new adventures, we are witnessing gradual progress, celebrated every step of the way. Our sons receive praise and encouragement for doing what they can do when they can do it. They are thrilled with the joy of accomplishment every time they stretch their ability a little bit further. And each success breeds the confidence and daring required to push further still, and accomplish a little more.

There's no rush, no pressure, no stress. No comparisons to others, no disappointment with how long these things take. No foot-tapping, clock-watching, or throat-clearing. No sighs or eye rolls. No frowns over the imperfect, partial steps taken in the process of getting to the goal. No despair over the occasional step backward.

We know that one day we will have two boys who walk, run, climb, jump, and swim like anyone else who has the ability to do these things.

Overnight mastery is the last thing we would ever expect. At the same time, the last thing we would ever accept would be no progress at all. We never expected these changes to happen suddenly, quickly, or at our convenience. But, we did, and do, expect them to happen. A child who is not growing or developing is taken to a doctor to figure out what's wrong.

A parent who is impatient with a child's development is seen as unreasonable, if not abusive. A parent who is unconcerned about, or unaware of, delays in development is seen as neglectful.

Either extreme presents danger to a child, and exposes a misguided attitude on the part of a parent.

While it's easy to see these dangers in the upbringing of our children, it's not always easy to remember them in a spiritual context. Christians commonly refer to a newly baptized believer as a "babe in Christ". But, do we take into account the full meaning of that expression?

If you've ever had a newborn, an infant, or a toddler in your home, do you remember what it was like? Do you remember all the things you didn't expect them to do for themselves, all the ways in which you made a special effort to care for and accommodate them, and yet, all the high hopes and dreams you had for what they would do and become in the future? Do you remember refusing to go to the extremes of being too demanding or simply neglectful?

What is the experience of the new Christian in the church?

May it be like the experience of children growing up in a godly home. May a new Christian find the time and space needed to grow and develop, with encouragement every step of the way. Not rushed into maturity, but not left to prolonged immaturity. Not forced into service, but not forgotten, either.

May every new Christian find a spiritual family with the faith to celebrate his progress, "poco a poco".

Are we prepared to provide a safe home for a newcomer?

A Promise Kept

Jane: "Mary Poppins, you won't ever leave us, will you?"
Michael: "Will you stay if we promise to be good?"
Mary Poppins: "That's a pie-crust promise; easily made, easily broken."

Most of us know the story of the prophet Samuel's birth.

In a sense, every human being owes his existence to his mother, but Samuel in particular owed his life to his mother Hannah's deep faith and heartbroken prayer.

We read the story in the first few chapters of I Samuel.

Hannah lives, as so many women of her era, in a polygamous relationship, with a husband who loves her dearly, but also has another wife. The other wife has borne children, but Hannah has not. In fact, the Scripture says, "the Lord had closed her womb". (1:5)

No explanation is given for this, but it is clear that Hannah's inability to conceive is a source of great pain for her. This fact is not lost on the other wife, who takes advantage of this sore spot to "provoke her severely, to make her miserable, because the Lord had closed her womb." (1:6)

"She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to the Lord and wept in anguish." (1:10)

Out of this torment comes a request, and a promise.

"O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your maidservant, and remember me, and not forget your maidservant, but will give your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life." (1:11)

Hannah's prayer is granted, and she names her son "Heard by God".

As moving as this part of the story is, it alone does not provide the most compelling point for us today. That is yet to come.

God's intervention in this story is, like most of His deeds, beyond our grasp. How does God take a woman who cannot have children, and bring about whatever change is necessary to allow conception to occur? How or why had He prevented conception from occurring before? We'll never know; we accept that He can and does intervene in such ways, according to His will.

Not to suggest that God's work is not the most remarkable element of this story, but His intervention in this case is similar to innumerable miracles He has performed over the centuries, completely in keeping with who He is and what we have always known Him to do.

The most unusual element of this story is Hannah's promise. More specifically, the fact that she keeps it.

After all the years of torment and depression, after all the wishing and hoping, the son she wondered if she could ever have is finally in her arms. Any mother who has locked eyes with her newborn knows the instant and eternal bond. Everything else is reordered. Previous priorities fade. Nothing is ever the same.

Yet, in spite of all this, as God remembered her, so Hannah remembers her promise. She weans her son, and then takes him, at a very young age, to Eli the priest to begin his life of service to God. And, the course is set for a critical period of Israel's history.

Imagine it. Taking your small child to begin a life apart from your household, willingly giving him up to see him again only once a year thereafter. A tear-jerker of a passage is found in chapter 2, verses 18 - 19: "Samuel ministered before the Lord, even as a child, wearing a linen ephod. And his mother used to make him a little robe, and bring it to him year by year when she came up with her husband to offer the yearly sacrifice."

Can you see Hannah stitching her son a new robe, remembering what he looked like the last time she saw him, wondering what he would look like now? Wondering how much he might have grown? Hoping he'll like his new robe? Can you imagine the annual reunion, with Hannah helping Samuel try it on? Can you imagine how often Samuel thought of his mother throughout the year, every time he wore that robe?

Considering all this, it's truly amazing that Hannah kept this promise. Honestly, if she had failed to keep her promise, would we judge her for it today? Could we blame her? Could any of us keep a promise like this? Would any of us have made such a promise in the first place?

Hannah would have had at her disposal any and every rationalization she would have needed to break her promise to God, and make it all right in her mind. Imagine how the tempter might have worked on Hannah's mind in the few years she had Samuel at home. We're not given any indication that Hannah even struggled with this decision, but if she did, she would have had plenty of help.

While we might not have been inclined to judge Hannah harshly had she failed to keep this promise to God, Scripture indicates God Himself would indeed have taken it seriously. (Ecclesiastes 5:4-5) And while Hannah's story is not entirely equivalent to the story of Jephthah (Judges 11), it serves to illustrate the same point: take seriously what you tell God you're going to do.

Buried beneath all this, lies an often-overlooked fact in Hannah's story.

"And Eli would bless Elkanah and his wife, and say, 'The Lord give you descendants from this woman for the loan that was given to the Lord.' Then they would go to their own home. And the Lord visited Hannah, so that she conceived and bore three sons and two daughters. Meanwhile the child Samuel grew before the Lord." (I Samuel 2:20-21)

Who knew Hannah was going to have more children after she gave Samuel to the Lord?

There is no indication that anyone knew. Hannah's original prayer was for "a male child", not for the ability to have as many children as she and her husband might have wanted to have. It was on her heart to have a son, and once that prayer was granted, it is clear her heart was content. (2:1-10) In fact, we have to assume that Hannah thought she was handing over to the Lord her one and only child, and that she would live the rest of her years on the joy of her short time with her baby Samuel. There was no inkling of future children to numb the pain of giving Samuel up, or to make it any easier to keep that promise. The reward of having five more children must have overwhelmed her heart.

Promises, promises. We live in a world today in which promises don't seem to mean very much. It seems people vow first, and think later. The vow may even be sincere at the time, but changing circumstances provide the back door people use to abandon a promise they no longer wish to keep. Even marriage vows turn out to be pie-crust promises with disturbing regularity.

More than anything else, a Christian is supposed to be different from this world. How seriously do we take our promises to ourselves, let alone others, let alone God?

"This is the year I'm going to exercise again."

"Till death alone separates us."

"You are my God."

Going Too Fast...

We found a treasure today.

For some time, my wife Kristi and I have been aware, off and on, that we weren't sure where we had put the DVD Kristi made for our older son Benjamin's first birthday party, which has been over two years (and a move) ago now. The DVD is a compilation of photos from Benjamin's first year, set to music, with messages wishing him a happy birthday. As far as treasures go, this DVD is, well, beyond priceless.

When our younger son Jonathan's first birthday rolled around earlier this year, Kristi made a similar DVD for him, and we realized we didn't know where Benjamin's DVD was. In the months since, this missing DVD has been an occasional itch we can't scratch. We felt sure it was somewhere, that we wouldn't have thrown it away, that it would turn up sometime, but we were starting to wonder...

Out of nowhere today, Kristi found the missing DVD, at least one copy of it, at the bottom of a random box from our move a year ago. Needless to say, we dropped everything and watched it.

Let's just say dry eyes were not a problem.

We just couldn't believe what we were seeing, how long ago those moments seemed, yet how fast they all went by. My eyes moved back and forth from the baby on the screen to the three-year old sitting with me, and I just had to shake my head.

David Halberstam wrote a book called Playing for Keeps, centered mainly on the life and career of Michael Jordan, but also exploring the general world of professional basketball during Jordan's career. In one passage in particular, Mr. Halberstam explains that many players desire the security of a long-term contract with guaranteed money, because they realize how very temporary their playing days are. The phrase used to describe the length of the average player's career is a haunting one: "terrifyingly short".

Terrifyingly short.

A professional athlete's career, or the time from my son's first birthday to now, are not the only things that are terrifyingly short.

"What is your life? It is a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away." -- James 4:14

Why be surprised at how fast it seems to be going?

Why keep assuming we have next year?

Why keep assuming we have tomorrow?

Places You Never Dreamed You'd Go

Maybe you've heard bits and pieces of the story on the news.

Right now, a high-profile couple is going through the trauma of a divorce, made only more painful by the public nature of it. Embarrassing details are being broadcast for all the world to know and discuss, and the parties involved are trying to maintain some degree of composure, as their children are about to have their lives changed forever. Sadly, tragedies just like this happen all the time.

But, there is something different about this story. While it involves the common culprit of adultery, mixed with the newer but equally common threat of internet porn, there is one fact that makes it surprising all this happened. That is the simple fact that the man in this case is, we will soon say "was", married to a super-model, whose name and image have been well-known around the world for many years. Not only this, but it is apparently his infidelity that has led to the pending divorce.

To the outside observer, based only on the most superficial knowledge of this family, wouldn't this be the last thing anyone would expect?

When this man married a super-model, how many men might have envied him, just on the basis of the outside appearance of what he seemed to have? Who would have guessed he would end up seeking the company of other women, both in person and in pictures? Who would have thought he would risk what he had for that? Of course, part of the problem is that we tend to think of sexual intimacy as primarily a physical thing, when it's far more complex than that, but, still, didn't this story surprise you a little, the first time you heard it?

In another recent story, a sports writer details how surprisingly common it is for professional athletes, who earn millions during their playing careers, to end up broke or hopelessly in debt when their playing days are over and the paychecks stop coming. It was actually a heartbreaking story, despite the lack of sympathy so many of us feel for these young men who make more money than we'll ever see, and don't always appear grateful for it.

How many people envy these young, newly wealthy superstars? How many assume these young people are set for life? How many would really have guessed that in many cases, it doesn't happen that way?

More importantly, in both of these stories, what are the chances the actual people involved would have ever guessed the ultimate outcome? It's safe to assume a man marrying a super-model would consider his need for female companionship to be met, and adultery on his part a most far-fetched scenario, if not an utter impossibility. It's not only safe to assume, but fairly easy to prove, that a young athlete signing his first multi-million dollar contract, fancies himself set for life, and the idea of returning to his prior financial status, let alone an even worse situation, to be beyond impossible.

Yet, both of these disasters, and many others like them, do happen, regardless of how unlikely we think they are.

Both of these stories serve to illustrate a spiritual truth: Given the opportunity, Satan can take a person to places he never dreamed he'd go. Places that just don't make sense to the casual observer, given the person and his situation in life. Places that seem to be the total opposite of everything the person is.

The Apostle Peter knew this to be true, from his own experience.

He assured Jesus he would never fall away, even if every other disciple did. He went so far as to tell Jesus he would even die for Him. Yet, later that same night, he fulfilled Jesus' prophecy by denying he even knew who Jesus was.

It's not unlikely he remembered that mistake years later, when he wrote these words in I Peter 5:8: "Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour."

Spin a spiritual globe, and point your finger to a random place, a remote, isolated, dangerous island of sin. Say to yourself, "That's somewhere I'll never go!"

At that very moment, Satan stands not far away, smiling at the challenge. He whispers to himself, "You wanna bet?"

"Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." -- James 4:7

232 Years

Tomorrow we celebrate America's independence.

As we enjoy fellowship and fireworks, let us pray for our country, especially for her current and future leadership, that God's blessing may always be sought, and our future may be bright.

"Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord..."

Psalm 33:12

To be, or not to be...offended.

"Then Peter came to Him and said, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.'" -- Matthew 18:21-22

Most Christians are familiar with Jesus' teaching about forgiveness, specifically with his explanation to Peter that someone wearing Jesus' name should continue to forgive a repentant offender time and again, without keeping count, and without ultimately claiming the well has run dry from overuse.

To answer Peter's question more fully, Jesus gives the example of a servant who is given undeserved, unprecedented grace by his master, only to turn right around and deny a small amount of grace to a fellow servant. The lesson is clear: We are expected to be generous toward others with the forgiveness God has extended to us. In fact, if we fail to do so, we cannot count on God's forgiveness at all (Matthew 18:35).

In addition to these instructions, Jesus lays out the right way to approach someone who has offended us. First, privately, and alone. Second, privately, with a witness or two, and only publicly if the first two approaches fail. Not as much fun as the more-favored approach of telling everyone else but the offender, but it's the only way that comes from God.

So, believers are given the tools they need to resolve conflicts that arise among them.

Needless to say, conflict still oftentimes goes unresolved, as believers oftentimes neglect the tools Jesus left. But, the tools are still there, in perfect working order, for those who choose to pull them out of the shed and use them. Between believers, everything from a dented bumper to a broken heart can be addressed and brought to a peaceful resolution, if the tools Jesus left are used with humility and pure motives.

But, dented bumpers and broken hearts are rare occurrences, aren't they?

What kinds of issues are frequently at the heart of conflict between Christians? Do we reserve getting our dander up only for serious matters of faith and conscience? Or, are we prone to becoming agitated, even angry, over incidents and issues in which the only thing at stake is our convenience, opinion, or pride?

When Jesus gave us the tools of reconciliation, did He envision us having to use them all the time, for all manner of insults and hurts, real and perceived? The same question, in another way: Do you anticipate having to jack up your car and change a flat tire on any kind of regular basis?

Or, is it possible we are expected to grow, mature, and gain the perspective that allows us to avoid taking offense in the first place, whenever possible?

What example did Jesus Himself set? Can you imagine how often the people around Jesus must have failed Him? We are told in Scripture about several instances, but it doesn't seem likely that every disappointment Jesus felt with His followers (and naysayers, for that matter) was recorded for us to read. But, in the Scriptural accounts in which Jesus openly takes issue with other people's words or deeds, what is typically at stake?

From the clearing of the temple, to the woman caught in adultery, to the storm He calmed on the sea, to Peter's attempted rebuke of Jesus as He foretold His death, to Peter's assault on Malchus, Jesus' rebukes involve critical, foundational issues of identity for Him and definition for His mission. He clarified purposes. He exposed hypocrisy. He challenged His followers' faith. He established His place and preeminence. He thwarted attempts to redefine His mission. Nothing here involving fleeting emotions, personal convenience, irritability, stubbornness, or pride. Just a focus on the Father, the mission, and the things that mattered most.

Few would claim to have the kind of perspective Jesus had, but there is hope for us as we strive to reduce unnecessary conflict, and reserve confrontation for things that really matter.

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." -- Romans 12:18

Just how much does depend on you, when it comes to being at peace with your neighbors? Your family? Your spiritual family? It would be interesting to see how far many of us are willing to go in applying this verse to our lives. Just how generously do we tend to interpret this command? Does "as much as depends on you" involve anything beyond simply showing up and making our feelings known? Anything more than a moment's patience before giving in to anger and the feeling that the offender owes us something?

How did Paul himself interpret what he wrote? In another context, Paul discusses the issue of Christians taking one another to court over personal conflicts. Here, he makes clear just how far he assumes a Christian would want to go in order to maintain peace within the body of Christ, and to prevent the church from being discredited before unbelievers:

"Actually, then, it is already a defeat for you, that you have lawsuits with one another. Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be defrauded?" -- I Corinthians 6:7

Paul believes a Christian who values the body of Christ would prefer to be defrauded by a brother, rather than risking the unforeseeable consequences of a public conflict. The mission of the church is of far greater importance to Paul than a personal loss suffered because of a brother's inconsideration, oversight, or outright sin.

Moving beyond Paul's specific context of lawsuits, can we not apply this concept to our daily dealings with our brothers and sisters in Christ? If we truly value peace in the body, in order to have a more effective body, should we not adopt Paul's mindset? Should we not prefer personal loss, in whatever form, over an avoidable conflict that could carry with it consequences we can't foresee or imagine?

It's worth pointing out, however, that the same Paul who wrote these admonitions against unnecessary conflict, was not afraid to initiate conflict himself, as long as the issues at stake warranted it. In his letter to the Galatians, Paul tells his readers the story of a confrontation he initiated with Peter, over Peter's initial hesitance to publicly fellowship with Gentile Christians (Galatians 2:11-21). He also admonishes the church in Corinth for their tolerance of open immorality among their members, and reminds them of their duty to confront that sin for the sake of the body (I Corinthians 5).

When Paul reminds us to do all we can to avoid conflict, and to prefer personal loss over discredit to the church, he's not saying a conflict should never happen. He's simply pointing us back to Jesus' standard of what is and is not worthy of conflict among brethren. And, in so doing, he reminds us of how often we create conflict among ourselves over issues that are more about us, and less about Christ.

So, what is the Christian to do? Where can the Christian find practical advice to help sort these matters out?

Some of the best advice can be found back in the Old Testament, in the book of Ecclesiastes. King Solomon, blessed with wisdom beyond any other man, gives today's Christian a pair of seemingly contradictory tools that will get us a long way toward doing "as much as depends on" us to avoid unnecessary conflict in the church.

"Do not take to heart everything people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. For many times, your own heart has known that even you have cursed others." -- Ecclesiastes 7:21

"Do not curse the king, even in your thought. Do not curse the rich, even in your bedroom. For a bird of the air may carry your voice, and a bird in flight may tell the matter." -- Ecclesiastes 10:20

Such an interesting, practical pair of messages here. On the one hand, words are to be kept in perspective, not taken too much to heart. On the other hand, words are of deadly consequence, carrying significant weight. Which is true? Of course, both. And, therein lies a way in which today's Christian can be a peacemaker rather than a fire-starter.

The first passage from Ecclesiastes encourages us to adopt a forgiving, understanding, "cooler head" attitude toward the things other people say. A mindset ready to overlook an offense and extend forgiveness for any offense taken. And, why is such a mindset possible? Because the Christian knows that he is just as guilty as anyone else of saying things that were hurtful or offensive to other people. We want grace for those mistakes, so we should readily extend grace to others who make the same mistakes. We also understand that people often say things without thinking or out of frustration, and we know this because we've done it.

The second passage from Ecclesiastes, however, encourages quite the opposite attitude toward words, but in this case the words we ourselves use, and the things we say about other people. How differently we would speak if we knew everything we said would be repeated to the person we were talking about! Yet, how often do we speak carelessly about one another, despite knowing full well that stray words have a way of reaching the ears of the person we never meant to hurt. The Christian following Solomon's admonition will hold himself to an entirely different standard than that which he applies to everyone else around him. He will be as careful with words as he wishes others would be.

Imagine a church in which every member applied these two passages from Solomon to their everyday words and deeds.
Imagine every member holding himself to the highest standard, but being ready to extend grace when others fail. Imagine Christians truly finding it their glory, whenever possible, to "overlook a transgression" (Proverbs 19:11). Imagine a spiritual family that knows how to use Jesus' tools for confrontation and reconciliation, but that also reserves those tools for matters weighty enough to warrant them. Imagine all of us focused like Jesus on His priorities rather than our own feelings.

Think of someone who frequently annoys, aggravates, or angers you, and imagine choosing not to be offended.

Imagine choosing grace over grievance.

Is it to be, or not to be?

Restore such a one...

I made a late-night Wal-Mart run recently, and, on my way to the register, I had the misfortune of passing by a woman dressed in an outfit that didn't leave a lot to the imagination, and that didn't flatter the woman in any way whatsoever.

She just looked awful, bless her heart.

(Having lived in Texas for 17 years, I've learned that you can say the most derogatory things about a person, but if you follow up your criticism with "bless his/her heart", it's no longer considered harsh, slanderous, malicious, or evil in any way. Once you "bless" someone's "heart", why, anything you say about that person is meant in good faith and should cause no offense to anyone.)

But, I digress.

I have to admit that somewhere inside, I cringed as I passed by this woman at Wal-Mart. Her appearance alone was not the best, and the outfit really made me wonder what on earth she was thinking.

But, as much as I cringed inside at the sight of this shopper, I had to cringe even more at what happened next.

At the very moment this woman passed me on the left and disappeared behind me, another shopper appeared on my right, a few yards ahead of me, coming out from a side aisle. This shopper was a young man, maybe 18 - 20 years old. He was with a small group of friends his age. It was obvious this young man had noticed the same woman, and his reaction was instant. With a contorted facial expression, he loudly blurted out, "Oh, my God, that's disGUSTing!" As he and his group walked away, this young man continued to groan loudly and comment to his friends as he looked back over his shoulder at the woman in the aisle.

I hoped that somehow, mercifully, the woman had not heard the young man's reaction to her appearance. But, that's not likely. Odds are, she heard it, and will carry it with her long after the young man has forgotten all about it.

As obviously inappropriate as the woman's clothing was, she didn't deserve that. Even without a spiritual perspective, it is easy to see how out of line the young man was in publicly mocking a complete stranger whose story he did not know.

I didn't know the woman's story, either, but I got to wondering.

Maybe she was extremely naive, innocently oblivious to her impropriety.

Maybe she was painfully aware of how she looked, but for whatever reason, wore the outfit anyway, despite the shame.

Maybe she was truly a rebel, daring the world to see if she gave a rip what anyone thought.

Maybe she was deluded enough to think she actually looked good.

Maybe she was a prostitute past her prime. (Yes, the outfit was really that bad...)

Who knows? I didn't. Neither did the young man who belittled her. If any of these possibilities were true, or if the truth were something else altogether, in which situation would this young man's reaction have been appropriate?

Obviously, none. There's no scenario in which this reaction would be godly. And, it's easy to see that in this case. But, what about cases in which it's not so easy to see? What about cases in which the offender is not a stranger? Or, when the offense is not as clearly defined? Or, perhaps, when the offense is much more serious and personal than a stranger's attire in a public place?

Do we as Christians know how God expects us to respond when our brothers and sisters make mistakes?

According to Galatians 6:1, "Brethren, if anyone is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; each one looking to yourself, so that you too will not be tempted."

Think of all that has to come into play in order for the Christian to put into practice the teaching of this passage:

*Gentleness: the patience to be kind, even tender, toward a person whose conduct may have stepped on your
last nerve, or may have seriously offended or hurt you.

*Humility: the ability to see that the offender's mistake is not something to which you are magically immune.

*Restoration: the commitment to rebuild something when you might just as soon burn it to the ground.

*Maturity: this admonition is given to "you who are spiritual"; if you can't deal with this command and put it into
practice, you're not spiritual; you're worldly, still a child.

Compare these qualities, and the response God wants, to the response the young man in Wal-Mart gave to the woman dressed inappropriately in public. Instead of being marked by gentleness, it was very harsh. Instead of coming from a humble heart, the young man's comment came from pride, not considering his own weaknesses, which were just as evident as the woman's were. Instead of showing a desire to rebuild or restore, the young man's comment was destructive and served no positive purpose at all. Instead of being guided by a mature spirit, the young man showed tremendous immaturity in his careless and hurtful response.

But, it's easy to tear down this young man; in fact, just as easy as it was for him to tear down the woman as he did.

What matters is what can be learned from the moment. The challenge lies in the conduct of the Christian toward others when they fall short. The truth lies in the realization that Christians, who profess to be spiritual, may actually be no different from the young man in Wal-Mart.

How often have you seen Christians react to the mistakes and sins of others? How many times have you been the one reacting? And, how many times have you been the one who made the mistake others reacted to?

Do we consistently follow Paul's admonition to restore such a one with a spirit of gentleness? Do we remember that we should also consider ourselves, and how easily tempted we are, when restoring someone who has sinned?

Or, have there been occasions when the response has been harsh, prideful, destructive, and immature? Are there believers in this world, separated from the church for no other reason than the wounds they received at the hands of Christians responding to their mistakes? We need not even ponder the whole world for this question to be relevant. Are there such believers in your own community? Perhaps even from your own congregation?

Of course, every soul is accountable to God, and no one, not even the most unfairly wounded soul, should allow the insensitivity of others to keep him or her away from Christ. They shouldn't. But, we know it happens. May we never be the unwitting instrument of another soul's departure from fellowship with the body of Christ.

There is, however, another extreme to avoid.

If we are to follow the model of Galatians 6:1, and restore a sinning soul with a spirit of gentleness, it is clearly implied that we must also avoid the alternative of not dealing with sin when it occurs. An easy short-term way of avoiding offense is to avoid the confrontation or intervention altogether. "A brother in sin? Leave him alone! We're sure not to offend him that way." May it never be.

In fact, the same Paul who wrote Galatians 6:1 also upbraided the church in Corinth (I Corinthians 5) for tolerating immorality among their members, and even went so far as to say that they should cut themselves off from a so-called believer who would not give up an immoral way of life. He warned them about the nature of leaven, and how dangerous it would be for them to allow the presence of unrepentant sin in their fellowship.

So, clearly, the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy is not the model for how the church should deal with sin. When we know of sin in the life of a brother or sister, just letting the matter go in order to keep the peace is not an option.

It comes down to a conversation, a prayerful response.

When a brother or sister is found to be in sin, loving brothers and sisters must intervene to help the struggling soul get things right again. All the while, the ones intervening must be gentle, humble, and mature if they are to have a chance at rebuilding.

And, they are not the only ones bearing responsibility for the outcome of this conversation.

The sinning Christian must also be responsible for how he or she reacts to the reaction of his concerned spiritual family. It's always a possibility, and ever more likely in today's culture, that he or she will react with indignation: "How dare you judge me?" "What right do you have to tell me......." "I don't have to put up with this..." It's always possible he or she will leave the fellowship in anger, even if the attempted intervention was as loving and kind as possible. In that case, to use current lingo, "It's on him." He has revealed who really owns his heart.

But, even with this possibility, the conversation must happen.

Christians must never assume that a soul struggling with sin is doing so pridefully, stubbornly, or even with full awareness of the danger. The heart beneath the behavior may be ready to repent, just waiting for the right opportunity to do so.

May our response to a sinning soul never be, "Oh my God! That's disGUSTing!"

Instead, let us respond, "Dear God, please use me to help. And, help me not to fall myself."